You Know You're A PCV in Madland When...

(Many of these suggested by other volunteers...)

You Know You're A Peace Corps Volunteer in Madagascar When..

You find it difficult to eat without a spoon.

Half your meals are cooked in one pot and all of them are eaten on one plate.

It is impossible to conceive of a restaurant in this country without rice.

You stare at white people you don’t know, but are afraid to talk to them because you don’t know what language to use.

The sight of a white male over the age of 60 causes a gag reflex because of the high numbers of French sex tourists.

You’re used to locals assuming all other volunteers are directly related to you.

You have no idea how your neighbors are related to each other. (Oh, cousin Windisca's mother's adopted son's girlfriend, right!)

You spend most of your spare time talking about food. You talk about food before, during, and after dinner, regardless of whether or not you’re full. You make shopping lists of what food you’re going to buy in the U.S. two years before you return.

English hard.

Care packages are a source of delight (when they come) and anguish (when the post office loses them or opens them to steal the contents).

Crystal Light is the primary currency in a raging Peace Corps Volunteer Black Market.

Most of your clothes have holes in them from rats and mice.

You feel guilty wearing anything but flipflops in town. Sometimes, the flipflops are overkill.

Given a lack of landmarks, giving directions to other volunteers deteriorates into : “The restaurant is north of the Air Madagascar office, across the street from the epicerie with the mean lady and next to the epicerie where Jean’s counterpart bought credit that one time…no, you’re thinking of the place that always has those little waxy chocolates, I mean the one that always runs out of Skol.”

A kid asks you if it’s fady (taboo) for you to eat a lemur.

You prefer kabones to WCs and pos to kabones. (Translation: You prefer latrines to Western style toilets (they rarely work) and the covered bucket that serves as your chamberpot to your latrine.)

Worms, diarrhea, and vomit are acceptable dinner table conversation.

Everyone has a t least one embarrassing poop story that they’re not embarrassed to share.

It’s encouraged to be fat.

You’re short in America but still taller than everyone you work with.

You're tired of the boring ol' lemurs and think chameleons are way cooler.

You like chameleons because you can use them to scare kids out of your yard.

You have learned how to herd cows.

You avoid learning swear words in the local language because you know how often you'd end up using them on the drunks.

You are well informed about the level of witch activity in your town.

Being outside after dark feels wrong…shouldn’t you be more worried about vampires and rabid dogs?

More to come…