Lost in Translation

Random Dude: Bonjour, Madame—ou bien mademoiselle?

Me: Tsy francaise zah fa americaine. (I’m not French, I’m American.)

Random Dude: Ah! Vous etes americaine, c’est tres bien…

Me: Efa niteny zah, tsy francaise, tsy azoko teny francais. Mahay teny Gasy zah. (I just said, I’m not French, I don’t speak French. I speak Malagasy.) [This isn’t true, my French is decent, but who respects the French here…]

Random Dude: Fa manino? (Why?)

Me: Voluntaire Peace Corps zah ndreky miasa ambanivolo zeny mila mianatra teny Gasy satria tsisy olo maro mahay teny anglisy. (I’m a Peace Corps volunteer and I work in the coutryside, so I need to know Malagasy because not many people know English.)

Random Dude: [It’s all Malagasy from here on…] Ah, Peace Corps, so you are American!

Me: Yes.

Random Dude: Me, I do not speak American, it is too hard, I learn English.

Me: Americans speak English, too.

Random Dude: So you are English from Britain!

Me: No, but we speak the same language.

Random Dude: But if you speak English you must be from England.

Me: The English colonized America so that is why we speak English too.

Random Dude: They colonized you, so you ARE British.

Me: The French colonized Madagascar. Are you French?

Random Dude: No, no no, I am Malagasy.

Me: It is the same with America. We are no longer British but we still speak the same language.

Random Dude: You know what is good about the Malagasy people? We all speak the same language. Not like all you foreigners. You British, French, Americans, Italians, Australians, you can’t understand anything the other is saying.

Me: It’s very nice that you all speak the same language. But many people do speak the same language, like the British and Americans and Australians, but we speak with different accents so it sounds different. Like dialects of Malagasy. It’s like the Tsimihety dialect and the Antaimoro dialect.

Random Dude: Oh, I don’t understand Antaimoro people. They talk weird. But you are American, yes, so you are from Brazil.

Me: No, I’m from the United States.

Random Dude: But Brazil is in America.

Me: Brazil is in South America. The United States is in North America, near Canada.

Random Dude: Canada! They speak French there. Also in Montreal. Is Montreal also near Canada?

Me: Montreal is a city in Canada.

Random Dude: No, it’s a country.

Me: It’s a city like Tana is a city. I’ve visited, it’s very beautiful.

Random Dude: I have an uncle whose wife’s cousin is studying there. She says it is always cold.

Me: Much much colder than Madagascar, yes.

Random Dude: Do you not have sun in America?